When I got home from work, Tom and Lily rushed to greet me as usual.
“Guess what we’ve just had, Dad?” said Tom.
“A tickle?” I suggested.
“No, silly. To eat! Guess what we had to eat?” said Lily.
“Breakfast?” I guessed.
“No silly billy. We’ve had toast, and ten tomatoes!” Tom told me. “and two tangerines!" Said Lily.
“Guess what meal it was, Dad?” said Tom.
“Er, supper?” I said hopefully. “It was Tea!” Tom and Lily said together. “Silly Daddy.”
They both bent double laughing and I laughed too.
“All the tea was just like me” sang Tom as he danced around.
“Everything you had for tea began with the first letter of your name” I said. “Did you really have all those things?” I asked, looking at Mum. Mum nodded with a weary sigh.
“Time for a bath” Mum declared and the children raced for the stairs. “Last one naked isn’t the winner” called Tom. I thought it would be me again anyway so I sneaked a kiss with my wife.
I ran a bath and we all got in. Tom filled up the jug with water as usual and I put the tub of toys in the bath for Tom and Lily to choose this bath time’s play mates.
“I choose dinosaurs” said Tom.
“I choose fishes” said Lily.
“I choose cups” I said and I put the rest of the toys away for another day.
When Tom and Lily said dinosaurs and fishes they must have meant cups because that is what they started playing with first. I started playing with the fishes and the dinosaurs instead but Tom soon told me off.
“I chose the dinosaurs” said Tom, taking them back and putting one in each of the cups.
“I chose the fishes” said Lily, copying.
”Can I have the cups then please?” I asked.
“No you can’t. You were playing with the wrong things so now you can’t have anything” said Lily.
Silly Daddy, I thought.
“Would you like a drink?” Tom asked.
What have you got?” I asked.
“Tea or coffee except we haven’t got coffee” he replied.
“Tea then please” and off he went to busy himself with the jug of water and the cups.
“Would you like sugar?” he asked. I said yes please and he put in a T-Rex dinosaur.
“Would you like milk?” he asked. I said yes please and he put in another one.
“Would you like some dinosaurs in it as well?” he asked. I said no. “Never mind” said Tom and gave me my cup of pretend tea.
“This has got two T-Rexes in Tom” I said. “But I didn’t want a dinosaur. I just wanted sugar and milk.”
He came over to have a look. “Shhh.” Tom said. “They are asleep.”
“Why are they asleep in my cup of tea?” I asked.
“Because they are tired Daddy. That is why everyone goes to sleep. I thought you would have known that as you’re a Daddy” Tom said and gave me a disappointed look.
“But why in MY cup of tea?” I asked.
“They like sleeping in cold tea. That is why they are called T-Rexes.” Said Tom. I tried the tea and it was indeed cold.
“Don’t drink it Daddy” said Tom, “You’ll wake them up if they don't have any tea to sleep in.”
Silly Daddy, I thought.
It was time to get out of the bath. “Who’s getting out first?” I asked.
“I’m getting out second” said Tom. “Me too” said Lily.
Guess I’m getting out first again, I thought.
“I’ll get the towels” I said and opened the airing cupboard door to find them. I took a large fluffy towel out for me and two small ones for Tom and Lily.
“I got out second” said Tom, standing on the bath mat. “Me too” said Lily next to him.
“Here are your towels” I said offering them one each. They tried to wrap them around their waists like Daddy but they wouldn’t fit. “Dad!” they complained together, “There a bit small.”
“That’s because their T towels” I told them, laughing to myself.
“Silly Daddy” they said.
Funny Daddy, I thought.