Charlie cook's big sister had her boy friend around to play 
But hadn't asked their parents because they were both away 
Charlie sneaked upstairs and quickly took a look 
And instead of revising he saw them watch a couple fuck  

In a video on Pornhub a fit young man no doubt  
Was excited to fuck a granny, when she took her dentures out 
She declined when he asked, if she needed a colonic 
But after anal, withdrew his dick, with a nugget of shit upon it 

Which reminded the producer of the last porn film he'd made 
Where a very friendly lady was busy getting laid 
She invited half the rugby team and duly fucked them all 
She said that she preferred her men when they played with odd shaped balls 

Because she'd taken on the football team only the night before 
And none of them were very fit or sober enough to score 
With money paid in advance she headed to the bank 
Then went straight home, made a cup of tea and instead she had a wank 

Over a boring husband who invited his disappointed wife 
To do anything she wanted to, to  spice up their sex life 
So to the bed, with a coil of rope, she securely tied him up 
The got dressed and did her hair and fucked off to the pub 

Where she met an overweight lesbian and wanted to get her bare 
She took her home and up to bed forgetting husband was still there 
Undeterred she stripped her off and though she was quite chubby 
Used a strap on dildo to fuck on top of hubby 

Who dreamed about a pretty blonde lady, destined for stage and screen 
But propositioned by a director to do something obscene 
She bit so hard upon his dick he eyes filled up with pain 
And left him with such injuries that he never fucked again 

So instead he asked forgiveness for all the wrongs he'd done 
But as the priest heard the confession he quietly said,  "Son 
You're sins are all forgiven, and though your dick now hurts 
You could always come and join this church, we're recruiting new perverts 

Where inside there was a Catholic Priest with a young boy on his knee 
Who was asking the page boy if he would help him pee 
They shuffled to a cubicle, the page boy's name was Roger 
And he unzipped the vicar's fly and took a great big todger 

Which was last erect just like it, only the night before 
When he hadn't heard his wife come home early through the door 
She therefore caught him wanking over a nativity divine  
He told her it was an act of God that he'd found online 

About Mary and Joseph who shouted Jesus fucking Christ 
It's only been a couple of months since you became my wife 
Which bastard got you pregnant? Who's the father of that child? 
Then God said 'You got a problem with that?' but Jospeh just replied 

If he grows up with Daddy issues, they'll put him in a book 
But let's just hope the Bible isn't read by Charlie Cook.